Coolaroo Hotel

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You know those moments in a horror movie when someone does something really stupid and you’re just sitting there watching it and thinking “no one would jump in a river when they know it’s infested with a mutated cross between great white sharks and piranhas …

But sure enough, that’s what they do, and then they die.

That’s what happened to me last night.

Well … except the piranha – great white shark and dieing bits.

Specifically I was fast asleep in my bed at the Coolaroo Hotel (it was about 10:40pm) when I was woken by what sounded like a knock on my door.

I lay there for a second wondering what had woken me and then as I started to drift off to sleep, I heard a second knock.  Thinking it was some dickhead that didn’t know someone was in the room, I yelled out something like “what?” and then rolled over and started to try and get back to sleep.

A minute or two later there was a third and louder knock on my door, this time followed by a loud “Security“.

Now at this point I was still half asleep and pretty angry at being woken up (but also worried that maybe something had happened to my car), which was when (in hindsight) I did something pretty stupid … I threw on some clothes and just walked up to my door and without asking any questions, I just opened it …

Now, if I were watching this movie, I’d be yelling “Don’t open the door you idiot, there will be an axe murderer out there. No one would open that door.

But I did.

Which just goes to show that people do do stupid things.

I shall spare you the following exchange between myself and the security officer who told me he’d been sent to bring me to the manager because I was staying in my room without paying.  He seriously wanted to frog march me (half dressed) down to reception to pay my bill then and there.  

I insisted, with the use of much profanity, that I had paid my effing room charges and that I did not appreciate being offing woken at 11o’clock at night to be effing told otherwise.  I then tried to slam the door dramatically in his face, which also didn’t work like it does in the movies (he just moved his foot forward and stopped it closing)

As it turned out, there had been an error in their processing my payment when I’d checked in and so the payment hadn’t gone through which the manager had just picked up, but I still don’t think you send a security guard down to wake up a hotel guest at 11pm at night to drag them down to pay when you’re the one that has made the mistake … a polite note under the door, or a phone call early in the morning maybe …

Even the Queen Bee would know that.

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